Ugh.

It's been a while since i last published a post. So much has been happening, in so little time...

I'll start off by acknowledging the fact that im sick as hell. One of my body parts isn't functioning well .. my NOSE. It fails to allow me to breathe and destroys its status as a nose. My body isn't functioning well either .. everything hurts and this fever is just making it worse. My stomach is growling at me, as if im not feeding it.. it seem's to reject everything i eat ... the only thing in my system are pills. Double Advil, double panadol actifast, double bruffen .. and Cough syrup to top it all off.

School. Oh no, i dont even wanna remember what my last day of school was like... it was just too painful to even talk about. I've been accused of licking my friends bf's butt. Ouch yeah? And everyones mouth seem's to be running on the same topic. Dont people have lives to run? Whats so special about mine =S ... Go live your own life and quit screwing with mine bitches :D
All this time i've been taking in the blame, 'cause i know for a fact.. that if i DO defend myself, i'll end up losing someone. But right now... it doesnt really matter, cuz if that someone DID care, he wouldn't have put me in such an awkward position. I let him play around with my feelings. I let him take over me. Granma always told me 'give your heart to someone who can take care of it, not someone who is bound to play with it ' .. where are you granma ? Are you looking down on me ? ... if only you could reach your hand down and pull me to a place we could both be.

My love ... seem's to have forgiven me, when i fail to forgive myself. This is so hard, 'cause i didnt see ... that you were the love of my life and now it kills me. I see your face on, strangers on the street ... i still say your name when im talking in my sleep. And in the limelight i play it all fine... but i cant handle it when i turn off my night light .. I wake up shedding tears. It's the pain i put you through.. its my BIGGEST fear.
They say that true love hurts, but this could almost kill me ... young love murder, that is what this must be (:
I've chosen to leave and you let me go. You made it for hours without me, that means you can go on doing it everyday of your life and soon i'll mean nothing to you. I'll disappear from your memory. And those rare moments id pass by in your dreams, you'd wake up screaming you were sleeping with the enemy.