iLlusions.

My life, a blurred vision.
Where you see what you want,
& What you need leads to corruption
I put you first, you were my only,
I trusted you and waited faithfully.
And all that you will be is nothing of what i wanted you to be.
I wanted you,
needed you...
I waited for you.
But you never could see,
The damage you've done to me
You said what you had to say
I alleged it was a game,
which you said you didnt play..
I was more like your sister,
But i never felt that way.
Simply waiting for your msg's after midnight..
day after day.
This was all an illusion, none of it was true,
The way i cared & loved ... I did it for you.
I dont know how i feel...
But this isn't a lie..
This is real.

No, it's not okay.

Why dont you see,
Atleast try to be happy for me..
Why cant you understand ?
Some people were just never meant to walk hand in hand...

For once im not lost
I've lived my life & made mistakes,
I paid the cost.
Hoping they would erase.

This is love,
It's not lust..
What i have is beautiful
I dont lack trust.

Why don't you get that you two were never meant to be,
& Maybe its different with me.
'Cause i loved him aswell...
Except i held on to him loosely and set him free
& He came back for me.

'Cause i waited,
& Cried...
You asked if I was okay..
& I lied
I trapped my pain,
I let it consume me...
Tear me up from right to left..
Cuz i watched him abandom me.

Everything to lose,
Nothing to gain...
Cause its fucking up my head
& driving me insane.


Please dont... Dont HURT ME.